One Month Anniversary for One

This is a message that I sent one of my best friends the other week.  I thought I would share it because it shows a more personal side of me and what I’ve been going through.  I’m a very extroverted person and even though I’ve become comfortable with spending time by myself, it is sometimes difficult to cope when everyone else has their own lives and I spend 10 hours a day alone at least 5 days a week.  I can’t wait for the weekends because I can see my GI friends or hit up the local club to talk to other foreigners. 

I do love it here in Korea and I accept that I’m going to have a lonely day once in awhile and I accept that this time is meant for personal growth but my first breaking point was last week.  It was my one month anniversary of being in Korea and it was the most emotional day I’ve had since I’ve landed. ended up bursting into tears in the teacher’s lounge when a co-worker asked me how my day had been going.  At that point, I was frustrated with my oversized and rowdy class that has children at two drastically different language levels.  I missed having someone to do activities with or talk to at a deeper emotional level than the obligatory “how’s your day going?”

So here’s a brief (considering what I felt like writing) letter that I sent:

I've been trying really hard to stay positive and see the fun in everything but living alone, eating alone, and spending all of my free time alone is starting to wear me out. The novelty is wearing off.   Also, I've been having trouble with my one class so that has me frustrated and a little emotional. And just not having anyone to talk to about anything serious or personal. It just makes me miss everyone. That's why I'm always on facebook and chatting with people. I get almost no English interaction over here. 

I saw a foreigner the other day in my neighbourhood and I was so excited! I was excited to the point that I think I originally scared him into talking to me. He was friendly and talked to me and he told me that he knows how it feels like. He lived in Gunsan for a few years before moving back to the states but he said he never would have survived being by himself here (he lived on the base. He's an ex GI and is just visiting with his wife but he was so nice to talk to me for so long just because he could see that I desperately needed that kind of interaction. 

I still haven't met any other teachers that are friendly and want to go out. The GIs are always busy but I went to dinner with one the other day and it was terrible. He was tired and boring and we barely talked. It was soooo uncomfortable. All I want is to have people to talk to and go out for dinner with. And for the most part, I'm not even sure I can be friends with most GIs because very few are interested in remaining platonic.

And then it snowed yesterday. I thought I would hate it snowing but it just made me miss Canada. So it was just a really emotional day, thanks for listening…